Breastfeeding Is Natural — But That Doesn't Mean It's Easy. Here's What Actually Helps.

Nobody told you it would feel like this.

Everyone said breastfeeding was natural. They said your body would know what to do. They said the baby would just latch. And so when it didn't — when it hurt, or when the baby wouldn't settle, or when you sat at 3am wondering whether you were doing it completely wrong — you assumed the problem was you.

It isn't you. It never was.

The truth about breastfeeding is that it's one of the most natural things in the world and also one of the hardest skills many women ever try to learn — at a time when they're exhausted, recovering from birth, and running on approximately no sleep. The fact that it doesn't always come easily isn't a failing. It's a reflection of the fact that we live in a world where breastfeeding support is routinely underfunded, inconsistently delivered, and far too often absent entirely at the moment women need it most.

This article is for the women who are struggling, and for the women who are pregnant and want to know what to expect. Both of you deserve honest, practical information — and that's what I'm going to give you.

Why breastfeeding support in the UK is so patchy

Breastfeeding rates in the UK are among the lowest in the world. Around 80% of women start breastfeeding after birth. By six weeks, that number has dropped significantly. By six months — the point at which the NHS and World Health Organisation both recommend exclusive breastfeeding — very few women are still doing it.

This isn't because women don't want to breastfeed. Survey after survey shows that most women who stop before they wanted to do so because of difficulties they couldn't get adequate support to overcome.

The support that does exist within the NHS is often stretched to breaking point. Midwives and health visitors — many of whom are genuinely skilled in feeding support — are working with enormous caseloads and very limited time.

Breastfeeding peer support groups have faced significant funding cuts in many areas. The result is that women are frequently discharged from hospital before breastfeeding is properly established, handed a leaflet, told to call if they have problems, and left to figure it out.

It's not good enough. And knowing that it's a systemic failure rather than a personal one is, I think, an important starting point.

What good feeding support actually looks like

If you've only experienced patchy or rushed breastfeeding support, you might not know what the good version looks like. So let me describe it.

Good feeding support starts with time. A real assessment of what's happening — not a sixty-second latch check from a busy midwife on her way to the next room. It means sitting with you, watching a full feed, understanding your anatomy and your baby's, identifying what the actual issue is rather than offering generic advice and hoping for the best.

It means asking about your birth. About how you're sleeping. About how you're eating, and whether you're drinking enough water, and what your support looks like at home. Because feeding doesn't happen in isolation. It happens in the context of a whole person who has just been through something enormous.

It means a personalised plan. Not a printed sheet of positioning tips, but a real conversation about what's working, what isn't, and what to try next. And crucially — follow-up. Checking in to see how things are going, adjusting the plan as needed, and being available when new questions arise.

That is what you deserve. And in my experience, it makes a profound difference.

Common feeding challenges — and what actually helps

Latch difficulties The most common presenting problem, and often the most distressing. A painful or ineffective latch is almost always fixable — but it usually requires someone watching a feed in person and helping you adjust positioning and technique in real time. Diagrams in a leaflet rarely cut it.

Supply concerns Many women worry that they're not producing enough milk, and this anxiety itself can affect supply. True low supply exists but is less common than women fear. A skilled assessment can usually distinguish between perceived low supply and genuine supply issues — and in either case, there are evidence-based strategies that help. The answer is almost never "just switch to formula" if you want to continue breastfeeding.

Tongue tie A tongue tie — where the strip of skin beneath the baby's tongue is shorter or tighter than usual — can significantly affect feeding. It's increasingly recognised as a cause of latch pain and feeding difficulties, but assessment quality varies enormously. An IBCLC is trained to assess for tongue tie and refer appropriately.

Cluster feeding Cluster feeding — where a baby feeds very frequently over a period of hours, often in the evenings — is normal, developmentally appropriate behaviour. It doesn't mean your milk is insufficient. It means your baby is doing exactly what babies do to build your supply. Knowing this doesn't always make it easier, but it does make it less frightening.

Mastitis A blocked duct or mastitis (infection of breast tissue) is painful and can make the idea of continuing to feed feel impossible. Early identification and management matters enormously here — and continuing to feed, counterintuitively, is usually part of the treatment. Getting support quickly is key.

What an IBCLC is — and why it matters

IBCLC stands for International Board Certified Lactation Consultant. It's the gold standard qualification in lactation support — internationally recognised, rigorous, and requiring thousands of hours of clinical practice alongside extensive academic study before sitting a board examination.

Not everyone who offers breastfeeding support is an IBCLC. Peer supporters, health visitors, midwives and breastfeeding counsellors all play valuable roles — but their training in lactation varies significantly. An IBCLC has the deepest level of specialist knowledge available, and is trained to assess and manage complex feeding situations that may be beyond the scope of other practitioners.

I became an IBCLC because I believe that every woman who wants to breastfeed deserves access to someone with that level of expertise. Too often, women are given well-meaning but ultimately inadequate support, and end up stopping before they wanted to. That, to me, is a failure worth doing something about.

When to seek help — and how to find it

The short answer is: sooner than you think you need to.

If feeding is painful, get support now — not after another week of hoping it will improve. Pain is not normal, and it's not something you should simply push through.

If your baby seems unsettled after feeds, is not gaining weight as expected, or is feeding constantly without seeming satisfied, get support now.

If you're considering stopping breastfeeding because of difficulties rather than because you genuinely want to, get support now — before you make that decision from a place of exhaustion and desperation rather than genuine choice.

In terms of where to find support: your community midwife or health visitor is a good first call. Your local NHS infant feeding team, if one exists in your area, can help. La Leche League and the Breastfeeding Network both offer peer support and helplines. And if you need specialist assessment or you've tried other routes without resolution, an IBCLC consultation is worth every penny.

I offer one-off lactation consultancy appointments for women who need specialist feeding support — whether or not they are existing clients. If you're struggling, please get in touch. This is exactly what I'm here for.

You are not failing. You are doing something genuinely difficult, without enough support, in the hardest weeks of your life. That deserves acknowledgement — and then, real help.

Mollie May is a registered independent midwife and IBCLC lactation consultant serving Nottinghamshire, Derbyshire and the wider East Midlands. Specialist feeding consultancy appointments are available independently. Get in touch here.